It’s so amazing, (it’s so amazing)! Your love for me, (your love for me)! It’s so amazing, (it’s so amazing)! Your sacrifice for me! For every blessing, (for every blessing)! Given to me, (given to me)! For every valley, (for every valley)! You used to strengthen me. I don’t deserve your love, your tender mercy! If not for your grace, where would I be?’
Hezekiah Walker recorded my prayers. It’s almost like God allowed Bishop Walker to tap into to my conversations with Him, divinely imparted rhythm and harmony to our private communications.
I believe there are others who agree with my assessment of finding the peace of God during the most difficult and tender times of challenge amazing. Yes, I love the warm sensation of fresh winds when things are well and the cool breeze of calm when there are no immediate or lingering signs of distress or discouragement. However, I have found the love of God to be overwhelmingly amazing when things make no sense and hurricane like hazards surround me.
Just a few days ago, my husband, my son and his wife traveled to Chicago to take our annual trip during the Independence Day celebration. We have made the trip for the past five years and although we had recently left the Windy City having attended a 12 hour prayer conference, we love our ‘family time’ and did not want to forfeit the tradition. Settling into our rental car after a wonderfully anointed worship experience, we laughed, sang and talked the entire five hour drive.
We checked into the hotel and headed into the Portillo’s restaurant a few blocks over. Watching my son and his daughter hold hands as they led us to the restaurant, I remember thinking how blessed I am to watch my son be a husband and to witness his wife follow his lead. I love their love and I love how my husband and my daughter respect our mother and son bond. Dinner was great and the conversation at the restaurant was awesome. We continued the lively dialogue from ‘In Pursuit of Holiness’ (our Sunday school) and after I had finished the most blessed strawberry lemonade I could fathom, we headed back to our hotel to rest for the evening.
Making the most of our short trip, I ironed our clothes for the next day and after we had showered and refreshed ourselves, we were about to retire for the night when it happened! The phone rang. I glanced at my phone and it was my brother-in-law. He rarely calls my phone and at the time of the night, I knew whatever he had to say was not going to be good. Handing the phone to my husband, I announced who the caller was and he too immediately began to question ‘What’s wrong’? His hands began to shake and his voice began to tremble. I took the phone and was given the horrible information that my husband’s youngest daughter had been murdered in Alabama!
For the next few hours, I held his trembling hands and sometimes his wet face. I prayed for and with my husband. I tried to answer as many of the questions he was asking and all I could hear God say was ‘just a few hours ago, you sang about my being amazing. Will you still sing that now?’ I searched for my phone and scrolled to my Pandora App. We allowed the word of God, through worship music, to soothe our souls and to perform the miracle of healing to immediately satisfy our need to be close to our Savior.
Struggling with cold like symptoms, I watched my husband as he attempted to regain his physical and emotional strengths. He refused to return home early from the trip, yet he spent much of his time in prayer and in worship. When he needed time alone, I would leave the hotel room. I realized what he needed was more of Him and less of me. Oh, do not be mistaken, he needed me and he wanted me, but it became instantly evident that his need for Him, for amazing was most important.
During the last 36 hours of our trip, I saw my husband wither and wonder. I watched him fail and succeed. I witnessed his weakness and his strength. I viewed his valor and his values. I saw the man I love, love the Man he loves. During this time of hardship and loss, tears and pain, I saw the love of God overwhelm my husband in a way I had never seen before. I then knew that Bishop Hezekiah Walker had not only invaded my private time with God, but he had also done that of my husband, as his amazing God amazed him.
We realize we have days, weeks, months and years to feel the void of his daughter and we also know the amazing God waiting to comfort along the way. We agree with you Bishop Walker as we too sing….‘It’s so amazing, (it’s so amazing)! Your love for me, (your love for me)! It’s so amazing, (it’s so amazing)! Your sacrifice for me! For every blessing, (for every blessing)! Given to me, (given to me)! For every valley, (for every valley)! You used to strengthen me. I don’t deserve your love, your tender mercy! If not for your grace, where would I be?’